When I first deleted Instagram, I thought I would immediately get out of bed and do all of my assignments, clean my room and make a five year plan all in the span of two minutes. No surprise at all to say that I was very wrong, and re-downloaded the app only two days after deleting it.
Those were the longest two days of my life, and I was so happy to be back in Instagram’s warm embrace. However, after my relapse two days later, I realized how boring the app is. The only reason I scrolled mindlessly for hours at a time was to find something that I could sink my teeth into for five seconds, and then throw it to the ground. I realized that moment was my final straw with this app.
As I gave Instagram one final goodbye, the question in the back of my mind took up the spotlight for the first time ever: What am I supposed to do now that I do not have Instagram?
For a few days, it was nothing. Just sitting in bed and staring at walls until I could think of something funny enough to give me my daily fix of dopamine.
Dopamine, a hormone in the human body that acts similarly to a reward system, was the only thing keeping me tethered to my rotting Explore Page. Every time I would open the app, the levels would go up, and every time I closed the app, the levels would immediately plummet.
Earlier in the year, I did research and wrote about how damaging the doom scroll is to teens and their overall health, and did not think much of the very symptoms of doom scrolling addiction and dependency I was showing. I was very much aware of how damaging everything was to my mental health, but I never considered it an “addiction.” I believed it to be something I had complete control over.
However, once I deleted Instagram, I realized just how low my energy was without a daily fix that would somehow turn into hours of a media depression. Instagram had killed me, and I was struggling to revive myself.
As I have searched for activities to keep me entertained during this detox, I have found myself slowly but surely lowering my screen time. Through cleaning, working out and spending time with others, I take less time to be on my phone, and more time to actually be present in the moment and enjoy the memories I am so lucky to make.
Many instances have left me itching to get back on the app, and having to sit and cope throughout the day without it. It never occurred to me how much of a strain and struggle it would be to get off this app, because I was so far in.
While I have not turned into a social media-free guru after just three weeks, I have learned a lesson I plan on sticking with for a long time: There are so many mundane things that can bring the slightest bit of happiness, and one second of scrolling can cost two hours of joy. An overdramatized piece of advice, yes, but it is completely true. To take the time to do things one enjoys without damaging one’s self esteem, mental health, bodily health and other damaging factors is extremely healing, even if the results are not immediate within the first three weeks, or even in the first few months. While this detox may not be forever, it has made me realize it is not that deep.
