Human relationships offer perspectives, love and experiences that can impact a lifetime. There is more to companionship than its benefits –– or disadvantages. In any relationship, it is crucial to establish respect, expectations and, most importantly, boundaries. The boundaries you set determine the treatment you receive and how you respond to different types of conduct.
Boundaries are complex; they can be mental, emotional or physical. Mental boundaries are related to thoughts, opinions, needs and values. Mental and emotional boundaries tend to intertwine as emotional boundaries reflect feelings and choices. Physical boundaries, or personal space, guarantee that others do not impede your sphere.
Establishing boundaries ensures that relationships have a natural flow, thus enforcing a boundary is a two-person responsibility in relationships –– there is the person who sets it, and the person expected to respect it. Setting boundaries takes practice and requires analyzing beyond the surface level; there is more to it than blindly allowing disrespect, obeying without question or treading on eggshells to avoid conflict. Diving below the surface level reveals various qualities that can strengthen the ability to set a boundary.
However, setting a boundary is a feat that some may struggle with, whether they have been practicing it for years, or just starting now. This significant foundation in retaining relationships poses an important question: how do you make boundaries?
1. Respect and Value Yourself
To recognize your needs is vital, but to fight for said needs is what will offer true benefits. It may be difficult to stand up for yourself if there is a lack of self-respect. A lull in self-respect could be damaging –– some take advantage of this, and use it to support their potential malicious intentions. Self-respect includes recognizing personal and relationship principles while applying them to life and relationships. When someone is disrespectful or oversteps boundaries, self-respect helps you respond appropriately to such behavior. By setting boundaries, your self-respect will grow, and in turn, so will self-esteem. With the improvement of self-respect comes the improvement of relationships.
2. Know Your Limits
Understanding your limits is crucial; a clear perception of your limitations helps to acknowledge when to place a boundary. A lack of self-awareness can result in not knowing when enough is enough. Typically, drawing the line should happen when someone’s actions cause discomfort or risk your well-being. Knowing your limits helps you align with your needs while creating a sense of trust and security.
3. Communicate Needs
Once you have gained a profound awareness of yourself, your needs and your limits, communication is necessary. Self-reflection is just the beginning of the process, but the execution will not go smoothly unless proper communication is involved. For example, it is best to be firm and to maintain your stance when setting boundaries. Shyness or people-pleasing could result in the diminishment of the boundary. On the other hand, rudely asking for respect may not be well-received or reciprocated. Communicating in an adequate manner helps boundaries be understood, clearly received and respected while strengthening the relationship between both parties.
4. Have Follow-Up Conversations
After establishing a boundary, it is crucial to self-reflect and evaluate how or if your boundary was respected. In both cases, it may be beneficial to further elaborate to the other party –– this way, they become aware of any potential mistakes they have made or how they can continue to be courteous and improve. This step is the most important; although it may be challenging, having additional conversations warrants the safety of your wellness and mental state.
