I remember freshman year, freshly 15, looking up to the daunting seniors and all of them saying the same thing: “It will be over in a blink of an eye.” I did not believe them, I mean, middle school felt like it lasted lifetimes. But, fast forward three years, and now I am that senior.
Five months ago, I was sitting in the newspaper room receiving advice from my senior best friends and my mentors. The Class of 2024 has made an impenetrable impact on Miami Palmetto Senior High since my freshman year; would we live up to the legacy?
When I stared up at the stage at Watsco Stadium that Wednesday evening during graduation, a shiver went down my spine. I knew senior year was going to be different. On the first day of school, we would be the ones to stream in wearing red-dyed shirts with “2025” emblazoned across them. We are the seniors now. The “top dogs.”
We would have to walk the halls without the same faces we were accustomed to for the past three years, the hallway crushes we have had since we were 15 and the friendly faces of upperclassmen that would offer a reassuring smile.
The courtyard — also known as the “senior spot” for lunch — was once overwhelmed with scattered friend groups across the concrete lawn, while the Class of 2025 has left the well-known area desolate.
These past few weeks of school, despite longing for my graduated friends, officially being a senior has allowed me to embrace a new outlook on life: anxiety.
When Nov. 1 hits and over half of my applications have been submitted… do not talk to me. Who knows where I will end up, or where my best friends will go? University of Florida and beyond, the college applications bring out the unknown and I have never been more anxious; the future is not in my hands.
I was not prepared for how lonely the college application process would feel. While senior year brings us all together in some way, I have never felt more distant. Every one of us is wrapped up in our own stressors: jobs, homework, studying for standardized exams, writing a million supplemental essays and navigating the ever-confusing CommonApp platform.
On top of it all, I am solemnly grappling with how, in just a few short months, we will all go our separate ways. My friends have never been more eager to leave the city and escape state bounds, but I can not wrap my head around the idea of truly growing up.
Will we stay in contact? See each other over breaks? Go to the same University?
To the juniors, who will always be freshmen to me, I am baffled at how time has flown. This May I will be the one walking across that stage in all white, looking into the vast stadium and then they will realize that they are next. Junior year is difficult, but senior year is scary. The cycle starts all over again.
I am excited for new beginnings, but torn over all the endings. I miss my friends who graduated, thriving in colleges I dream of attending; I miss the time I did not appreciate and most of all, I miss the friends who have yet to leave me.
Senior year is truly lonely at the “top.”
